Ambitious - you betcha! So when my husband politely informed me that perhaps I should wait to see what kinds of things she might be interested in, I was taken aback. First of all, I don't remember asking for his opinion. Second, if he makes any sense, I just might have to retool my daughter's life plan - and I've worked so hard on it. But alas, he asked good questions, such as: Did you know she is only 3? When will she sleep, eat, or just be allowed to play? Have you forgotten how strong-willed your beloved child is and how she will not do anything she doesn't want to do no matter what you threaten to do to her "Best of Elmo" tape? Too many activities will tire her out fast. Remember what happened the last time you took her in all her tired glory to Publix when there were no more special green "car" carts for children? Are you sure this plan is for her and not for you? That last question hurt! But once I calmed down and thought about it, it was true and I knew it. I did want my daughter to explore her talents but it was so she could experience not just a better life than I, but a more interesting life. What parent wouldn't want that? Our children give us the chance to "get it right this time" meaning we'll do it better than our parents did with us, better than parents everywhere have ever done with their children. We want our children to be an example to people everywhere of just how it can be done. The perfect child is possible - and she came right out of my womb if only I can keep her activity calendar full! I took to my journal immediately! I had to record this vision of myself so I would never forget it. I was already planning to become an overbearing mother trying to run her daughter's life. Boy was I starting early. What would I do if she wasn't interested in my plans? Besides pulling rank and making her participate, I would be devastated and strangely hurt because I was only trying to do right by her.Trying to live through this toddler whose many joys in her uncluttered life include hugs, kisses, and soft tacos made me feel so ashamed. It's not fair to her to subject her to my wants without giving her time to explore her world first. So I set a few rules for myself:
Choose activities that are "interest" appropriate and brief in nature. For instance, she does not care for activities involving clay, mud, or any other sticky substance getting on her hands so a toddler pottery class is out of the question.
All activities are on a trial basis and continuation will depend on her interest and comfort level. I need to make sure I pay for the monthly plan only and not for an ambitious six months worth of classes at one time.
Activities should be scheduled in the morning where possible when she's "freshest". No activities will be scheduled anywhere near her normal naptime.
Per her father - I am to remember these activities are for our daughter. Please allow her to enjoy herself. Allow her to do things her way without being criticized or pushed to become overly competitive. (Oh the Humanity - How will she ever become like me without my input - this is going to be difficult!).
So here we are and I will not lie. I have not completely made peace with tossing her activities list but I am keeping a close watch on the types of things my little one does enjoy - and wouldn't you know it - I think she's leaning toward music and dancing. I think we're going to have a musician on our hands. Sounds like we will need those dance and music lessons, after all!
Stephanie Anderson is a stay-at-home mom turned entrepreneur and owner of the economic friendly company The UnCluttered Mother at http://www.theunclutteredmother.com The company offers inexpensive products for use when the time comes to heroically tackle the clutter in your life or when you just need neat tools and products that help with parenting your munchkins. Ms. Anderson also owns Economy Mom at economymom.com where she offers tools for surviving the economy such as budget management, starting your own home-based business, and managing ourselves in the workplace.